In summary, nurse Sara called @ 445pm and told me to continue my inserts and the new oral medication.. My blood test today was negative.. But she mentioned that it was still very early so might because levels couldn't be detected..

In any case, I still have to head to KK for another test on Saturday..

I've been having red and brown spotting on and off.. And I really do not have high hopes for this cycle..

Love & Hope, if u are still in mummy, please work harder and grow well..

If you guys are not, I know u are fighters and have tried your very best..

I'm still holding on to a ray of hope for Saturday.. I hope and hope it works out and my babies are just late implanters..

I cannot put to words how anxious I am right now.. Have been spotting a little brown since 2 days ago.. This morning, the quantity was abt half my pantyliner and with a little red streaks..

Got worried and L told me to call kkivf.. Was told to go down for an early blood test.. Was also give additional oral support to take..

Now, I'm waiting for the dreaded phone call.. Which nurse Sara said will be between 5-6pm..

I think the spotting has become a bit more red since morning..

Trying to stay positive..

Love & Hope, please hang on to mummy!

11 dpo...

Haven had any symptoms at all until earlier when I felt quite bad AF cramps...

When I inserted my progesterone just now, there was some vvv light brown thingy on my finger... It was vvv little but still its making me abit paranoid.. I hope it has to do with implantation and not AF!

L told me not to think so much and just relax.. I'll try my best..

And oh, I had this really vivid dream of me getting a BFP from the blood test.. Altho the hch level wasn't very high but it was not very low.. A 160.. Is this Love and Hope's way of telling me they are here to stay? I hope so.....

Had a few bouts of nausea yesterday (did I eat too much?)

Small twitches in my left side twice yesterday (am I imagining things)

Couldn't sleep last night (too excited? too worried?)

Nothing anymore..

Love and Hope, are you burrowing deep and hanging on now? Hold on tight to mummy OK?

9 more days to blood test........

1dpt... Embryo is growing and developing
2dpt... Embryo is growing and developing
3dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst 
4dpt... Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day 
5dpt... Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining 
6dpt... Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining 
7dpt... Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining 
8dpt... Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & foetal cells 
9dpt... Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood 
10dpt... More HCG is produced as foetus develops 
11dpt... More HCG is produced as foetus develops 
12dpt... HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

Sometimes, it shocks me how some parents or parents-to-be can be so anal about pregnancy..

Like a fellow forumer mentioned that during her ET, a young woman was beside her separated by a curtain at recovery and she was chatting excitedly with her girlfriends.. She thought she was going to deliver and was in good spirits until one of her girlfriends said "你打掉了、我们就去 shopping" (lets go shopping after u r done with ur abortion).. =.="

For many couples who have no issues with having a baby probably might not know how many million miracle steps is required before they get to hold their baby in their arms.. There is the window of opportunity (ovulation), fertilization must take place, the embryo must grow, it must implant, and continue to grow, it needs to be genetically healthy and then continue to grow in the next 9 months.. In between are so many factors that can cause it to fail..

It's really ironic how some who don't want kids or have so many complains have kids so easily.. And so many of us whom are so ready and wan a kid of our own are facing so many obstacles.. When hope and love sticks, they are going to be the most important people in my life (sorry L, u are going to be in the same grade as them, no higher)..

Anyways, enough of being so emo.. Haha.. I wanted to share this story I read in a forum..

Moral of the story for 2ww-ers is that embie grading is just a number or alphabet, the most important is having confidence in ur babies and keep positive!

http://www.fertilityzone.co.uk/index.php?page=Thread&postID=804473&highlight=not+suitable+for+transfer#post804473

Love and Hope, I know you guys are working real hard! Please continue to work hard OK? I promise it'll be all worth it cos you babies will be so loved and we're gonna give u everything we can.. U can climb all over daddy's head if you want too! Haha...

Aka 6dpo..

Had a sharp pain that lasted for a few seconds last evening and the odd twitches in the lower abdomen, sometimes left, sometimes right, sometimes middle..

Not sure what they are but I hope its Love and Hope working their magic and growing well! =D

2 more days to implantation!

It took me a lot ( and I means ALOT) of effort to finish my egg whites yesterday.. I feel like puking even thinking of it now.. Have decided I will scramble it today and have it with ketchup.. Read on a blog this is what another lady did so she wouldnt get so sick of them...

2dp2dt = 2 days past 2 day transfer

Love and Hope were 2 day old when they were transferred.. And today is the 2 days since they were transferred back to mummy's womb..

No symptoms to speak of today except I keep getting giddy spells.. When L was leaving the carpark, when I was walking around, when he was reversing into the petrol station and when I was standing in the kitchen... It's too early for pregnancy symptoms so I think its either the inserts or the freaking warm weather..

4 more days and Love and Hope should be implanting.. Hope you are growing well my babies...

Mum came to visit a few days back and was discussing with Mother-in-law about my procedure.. I was having lunch at the dining table and the conversation went like this:-

Mum: Aiyoh u don't sit so long at the table la..
Me: But I need to eat lunch ma..
Mum to MIL: I think she cannot sit too long leh..
MIL: Yea lor, better rest and lie down more hor..
Me: Aiyo cannot always lie down ma.. Need blood circulation...
Mum: Also cannot sit so long, u go toilet also got walk ma...
Me: Don't worry, I walk very slowly one..

After some time, mum suddenly exclaimed...

Mum: Oh I know! Buy the float..
Me: Huh? What float?
Mum: Swimming float lor.. For u to sit on lor, soft, soft ma, sit long also nvm..
MIL: Yea, good idea..
Me: Dowan la! U think I got piles now meh?

Haha.. My mum's imagation ran a little too wild!

But I know where she is coming from..

And I am thankful I have my mum and mil supporting me throughout this journey.. They made it more comfortable, and of course hilarious..

Love and Hope, u have so many people awaiting ur arrival and u both will be so loved.. Jiayou OK!

Wah loads of babydust to grab today!

Congrats bluenosebear on your positive beta!

Enjoy ur 9 weeks!!

Maybe ur EDD same as min81 and ur babies can become best friends.. Haha...

Yay! Just for news from a fellow forumer that her pregnancy blood test is positive!

Congrats min81! A smooth 9 months to you!

I grabbed a bunch of baby dust from her too.. Wahaha..

Love and Hope, u must learn from Aunty min81's babies.. Grow well and stick to mummy hor!!

Look like mint candies hor ?

These are the support Med I need to insert into my V 3 times a day, 2 each time..

L has been doing it for me for the last 2 inserts.  But will have to do them on my own starting tmr..

Please don't give me a hard time...

Our cute little embies...
Hope at the top and Love at the bottom!

First, some bad numbers to announce..

So I had 22 eggs retreived 2 days ago, doc and nurse say it was a good number.. Unfortunately, today, we learnt from the embroylogist that majority of our 22 eggs was of bad quality.. Only 4 eggs were usable and the injected the sperm into the egg aka ICSI to fertilize the eggs.. 3 got fertilized but 1 egg was in a bad shape and cannot be transferred...

So the story this morning...

Arrived at kkhivf @ 730 with a freaking full bladder ready for ET.. Nurse at registration counter said if I cannot tahan, I can pee now and the slowly drink water cos the procedure should be around 815, 830.. Went for my blood test which was done around 745 and was told results will be out in 1 hour.. Calculated that would be 845, bth already so went to pee.. At 815, next wave of full bladder came.. Looked at clock, still got half an hour, cannot tahan, go pee again.. 820, my name was called.. SHIT! Nurse asked, ur bladder full? I said, err I just went to pee 5 mins ago.. Nurse exclaimed, huh? U hurry drink water, if bladder not full, dr cannot scan ur uterus u gotta requeue.. Few days ago, this lady same case as u, have to wait 2 hrs cos Dr had to go for op... Wah! PANIC! Started to drink water and made Z refill it.. Kept jumping hoping the water quickly reached my bladder.. Finally, after 15 mins, nurse tested a scan and saw the uterus.. Phew..

Dr Sadhana arrived and asked if I was feeling bloated or in pain or nauseous (checking for ohss symptoms).. I told her I felt fine.. Just a little pain probably from ER.. And when I eat too much, I feel bloated and abit of pain.. But I pee fine and have a good appetite.. She said OK, lets go ahead and went to check with the embryologist on my eggs.. Then she came with the bad news explaining to us that there is one 3-cell embryo (on day 2, they expect the emrbyos to be between 2 and 4 cells) which is grade 3 (grade 5 being highest).. the other one seems to be dividing but not fully divided yet, so we are to transfer the 3 cell embryo and the embryologist will monitor the other one.. Once they are satisfied it has divided properly, they will freeze it..

So it was one embryo to be returned back to mummy's womb.. My legs were placed in the stirrups and dr sadhaba placed the catheter (I think this is what u call it) into my V.. Athens embryologist suddenly appeared saying the other egg has divided into 2 cell and they are happy to transfer that too.. So that's 2! I was telling L I'm convinced it heard our voices and grew faster so it could come home to my womb.. =)

Hospitalization leave will be till 30March.. Blood test on 30March as well.. Gotta do some inserts to support the uterus lining 3 times a day all the way till blood test day...

So in summary, we have no embryos to freeze but 2 embryos are safely transferred back to mummy's womb.. I'm positive these 2 are all we need for a successful cycle.. =) Grow well and stick to mummy tightly OK babies? We are nicknaming them Love and Hope so I can talk to them for the next 2 weeks..

Now, I'm officially 2.5 weeks pregnant and PUPO (Pregnant until proven otherwise)! Our 2ww begins now!

First baby photos up next!

Right after I posted yesterday, I went for a nap.. but was woken up few hours later with this excruciating pain in my tummy.. I couldn't turn sideways without feeling any pain... There was alot of gas in my tummy, so I tried to get up to go to the toilet.. Felt like peeing too.. But the moment I stood up, it was like everything in my body crashing down on my bottom, freaking painful.. Couldn't even pee properly cos of the pain.. I was finally able to get back to bed and fall back asleep after like an hour..

I woke up again few hours later, feeling no pain in my tummy and thought, thank goodness its over.. but the moment I sat up and stood up, it started again with a vengeance.. Couldn't help it and kept crying.. Scared Z silly with my wailing.. He gave me some painkillers and I lay down again.. And that was the position I was stuck with the entire night..

Thankfully, when I woke up this morning.. All was much better.. I could walk and sit up and as long as I didn't attempt any big mambo jambo moves, I was OK.. Phew.. Peeing alot too.. Hope this continues so I'm clear of OHSS..

ET tomorrow.. Wonder how my 22 eggs are doing.. Jiayou OK! I'm waiting to be reunited with you!!

Till tomorrow!

Another milestone completed...

Was at kkivf early in the morning at 730am.. After registration, Z was asked to leave me with them and to come back around 1145 to pick me..

Was first brought to change to the white and pink operation gown, lock my items in the locker and changed to some paliah auntie rubber slippers (Haha).. The nurse then inserted the IV thingy into my hand and it was freaking painful! Waited another 10 mins and was brought to the op theatre.. First time ever in my life... Surprisingly, I wasn't really very scared.. Just curious about the equipment etc and feeling a little cold..

Soon after, the anesthetist came and started asking me questions.. Dr Sadhana also arrived and said hi.. Nurses were splitting my legs and putting them in the stirrups.. Next thing I know, oxygen mask was on me and the anesthetist was injecting something into the IV thingy on my hand.. She said I will start to feel drowsy and light headed very soon.. I wanted to know how long it will take me to knock out so I started counting "1, 2, 3, 4, 5..." I started to feel like I was floating and when I next opened my eyes, I was being wheeled into the recovery room with very heavy eye lids and a very crampy tummy..

I managed to ask the nurse 2 questions though.. "what time is it?" "how many eggs did I retreive?" And fell back into dreamland again.. Woke up the next time, had some milo and biscuits.. Getting very gasy in my tummy and more and more cramp pains..

I had 22 eggs retreived.. Nurse said it was a good number but now im at high risk of OHSS.. So im to drink at least 2 litres of liquid everyday and make sure im peeing.. Im going to down H2O like nobody's business.. Dont wana get OHSS!!

At 1115pm, I was discharged.. Z brought me to have lunch so that I could have my antibiotics.. Am now lying in my bed with a really crampy tummy.. Oh man..

Going to sleep cos I'm still feeling tired.. Hope I'll feel better when I get up...

Just did my Pregnyl trigger shot at KK's O&G..
I was expecting it to be painful, but it was surprisingly OK.. Maybe cos the Auntie nurse was very nice and kept trying to distract me.. Did it in my bum and only have a numb feeling now..

It's an injection free day tomorrow! Going to see Dr Zou for accupuncture and movies with dear hubby..

Almost halfway there.. 加油!

I came out of the ultrasound room beaming away.. I think I was already smiling to myself in the middle of the scan and the sonographer must have been thinking this woman might be nuts.. Haha..

So the results of another 2 days of injections brought me to 5 eggs above 16mm.. Which means I'm already likely to get 5 viable matured eggs! From one to six, I say that is great progression!

During the review, dr was asking if I was feeling bloated and uncomfortable.. Or if I was nauseous.. I told her I was feeling a little bloated, but still OK.. The feeling was like my menses was about to start.. Nothing really very uncomfortable about it.. She said that Dr Sadhaba reviewed my results and would like to go with another day of injections if I was feeling fine.. Reason being, I have another 6-7 follies between 13 and 15mm and she would to give it a final, final push so we can retreive more eggs.. She says I'm at risk of OHSS because of the big growth of my follies.. I was feeling no discomfort so decided to go ahead with it..

Therefore, the dates are set! Trigger is tomorrow @ 830pm.. ER is confirmed on Tuesday... So excited! Hope we get a good "harvest" with good quality eggs that will fertilize and implant well!

5 egg whites... Grow follies, grow!!!

Went for scan this morning but was kinda disappointed with the progress.. Leading follie only grew 0.5mm over the last 2 days.. There were new follies seen but all small ones @ around 6mm..

Asked the doctor if my progress is slow, he said, it's still early, he will up my dose and have a scan next Tues and we will see.. 说了等于没说... Luckily there was a really nice nurse who was teaching me how to split my dosage and she told me, because my dosage was very low, so the growth isnt significant.. For a dosage this level, this growth is good already.. And since they upped my dosage to 250iu, by the next scan, I should have many big follies.. I don't have to worry.. After hearing what she said, I felt comforted.. I din manage to get her name, in fact, I haven't seen her around kkivf center.. Must look out for her and ask for her name..

Called up Dr Zou as well to inform her of my progress.. She told me to go for accupuncture tomorrow instead of Monday.. She also reassured me that the increase of dosage will let my follies grow, no need to worry.. She will help to improve my blood circulation with accupuncture..

So, I'm now no longer disappointed or feeling down.. Gonna enjoy the weekend! L is back today too.. I'm going to have gentle hand shelp me inject my Puregon and Ganirelix again! Not sure if its psychological but when L does my injections, it doesn't hurt at all.. But when I do it, I feel the pain, especially with the increase of dosage..

我是幸福的! 但、如果这幸福可以加上宝宝的笑与哭声、那就完美了。。 =) 加油!!

谢谢你们的陪伴! 请助我一臂之力、让我顺利生个白白胖胖的bb! =)

Went for accpuncture at Dr Zou Yu Min's @ AMK after work today.. Very nice lady! Really motherly.. She patiently took notes on my current progress and advised me on what to take and what not to take.. Also told me my body was "cold" so I shouldn't take cold drinks.. This was something my previous tcm didn't tell me, she was more like a come and go kind though she's really popular..

The accupuncture session was OK.. For someone with low threshold of pain, it was bearable.. Haha.. Which means it's probably nothing for most people.. Had a very short prickly pain when she pushed in the needles but after that was OK...

I was asking her if my growth was OK etc as I was worried, she was very reassuring and told me after 3 days is stimulation only, the growth is not bad, there should be more eggs appearing tomorrow.. She said it's better not to overstimulate else getting OHSS is no joking manner.. Another of her patient who took lower dosage of puregon than me had 86 eggs!!! It was very very serious.. She kept reassuring me that it's OK and don't worry.. She said my lining was a little thin, minimum must be 8mm, ideally 11mm when doing ER.. But it was good that it's triple lining.. Feeling really more relaxed after talking to her.. She even told me to call her tomorrow to let her know my scan results..

=) =) =)